You're probably wondering why I have inserted a picture of my feet?
Welcome to the fight with self esteem...
What is it?
Self esteem; Confidence in oneself or own worth.
So the other day I was tired. I hadn't slept well and the monster I tend to keep bottled up had reared its ugly head and caused an overflow of emotions. I go through my day with it pottering around in the back of my head, allowing it to stay nice and cozy, as many people do when they have a gremlin living within them.
I am no different and I write this post knowing it will probably live there forever.
I write it to promote awareness that we all live with something of which attacks our self esteem.
And I write to tell you it's okay. We can ride it out together and be confident in the knowledge others do suffer too.
But, I want to tell you we can fight it, live with it, and become stronger than it is.
It doesn't rule us we rule it. We can have it there to remind us of who we are, because it makes us stronger people.
I have insufficient appraisals for my own appearance. I'm okay with it most days and work hard daily to live with that knowledge. Doing this works for me all day long and I don't let it rule me. I know it's there plucking away and throwing the odd memory of my school days at me when wearing glasses was most definitely not cool, and acne crawled over my face multiplying overnight. I wake up thankful it isn't that bad anymore but when I do wake up in the morning to find a big spot fear overloads me and attacks like a hurricane. I still dread having to wake up the next day.
The list goes on and to be honest the idea of this post isn't to point out what causes my self esteem issues because, like I said, I fight to control my urges of self hate and try to find the positives. Our experiences are what cause us to develop self esteem monsters. They grow with each damaging remark or critical attack, like the nicknames' pizza face, and spotty four eyes. These kinds of things feed the monster and before you know it, wham, it's a full grown adult, as are you, and it's become part of your personality.
Before I continue I'm gonna throw out there something I do like about myself, I like my feet! I know, I know, what a weird thing to like huh? But they are nice feet, they're dainty, soft and have great shape! It’s important to remember just one tiny thing you like about yourself so you can smile at the thought of it and giggle at how ridiculous the bad stuff can be when they aren’t the only thing makes you who you are. We do have positive things too. It's important to remember those.
I want to tell you we all do have gremlins. No matter how you may survive with them the point is you do. Because why should they rule us?
I want to be happy and I want to enjoy my life. I want to smile at the silly things and feel proud to use them when I can.
What do you like about yourself? I know you have at least one thing. It only takes one thing to lift the cloud of self doubt away and breath once again.
I got my feet, they take me to some amazing places, have allowed me to see many things (not everyone has them) and I’m thankful I do! I’m thankful I can look at them and smile. I’m thankful I can climb rocks and complete a walk around my home lake. I'm thankful I can go anywhere I want with them, and I never take them for granted because I owe them a lot.
Have a great day everyone, find your feet! Cos you gotta love you, you gotta be stronger than your monster and you gotta appreciate the good things, no matter how small, or insignificant they might seem, they can be huge in the grand scheme of things.