I use my time as effectively as I feel able. Eager to fill it, I have completed a degree, started this blog, I draw and I work. I've yet to understand how to share it with just one person. It's not to say I'm a complete socialite and spend my days hopping from one house, or person, to another. I don't. I love my own company too much.
Is it wrong to struggle with the idea of being with one person?
Society is starting to progress, I believe, and understand, we are more varied in how we live our lives. But I still feel the pressures we are faced with and I want people, like me, to understand they’re not alone. There are people, just like you, that struggle to concentrate on what to do for the best which will fulfill their life.
I've had my fair share of long term relationships. None of them have been too bad but I've often felt suffocated. I'm not sure why. Perhaps it was because I wasn't brought up in an environment where I had a mother and father to teach me the necessary requirements of a partnership like that. Or maybe it's because I don't have the confidence in myself to love someone enough forever. I have struggled to withstand the idea of forever. But that's just me. Not everyone will get it and I certainly don't expect everyone to have the same opinion. I'm one in a minority that choose not to settle down just yet.
But I will say this, with every relationship I’ve had I’ve learned something new. I have this overwhelming need to learn and expand my mind to different things, people, opinions and desires. Perhaps, in some ways I don’t feel satisfied, I’m not sure what I’m looking for and I hope one day I will know. But for now I’m not there and I’m okay with that.
If you’ve struggled to come to terms with this choice of independence and you feel like there must be something wrong with you, I’m here to tell you there isn’t. I’m here to tell you it’s okay and you’re not the only one. You shouldn’t feel ashamed, but embrace it. Because I do believe, to understand what you want, you must first accept your need for independence. How can you work towards what you want to do if you are in conflict with yourself over it?
I want my readers to feel okay about choices made.
This isn’t only for those who consider themselves as independent people though, but also the ones who perhaps have friends who are, and I’m sure you all know at least one person. I know it’s not the norm but it is a choice. It’s okay for them not to want to settle down and have kids. It’s okay for them to work on building on their desires to achieve their own life goals, just like you have. Not everyone’s goal is to settle down, and it shouldn’t have to be.
I’m eager to keep growing and appreciate what I have because life is too short and I don’t want to regret a thing.